Love. Hate. Nature!

He didn’t know what it was. She didn’t know what it was. Yes, answers were been given but an error was acknowledged. I didn’t know what it was but I knew enough that it was wrong. Control isn’t possible but controlling it was. Limited possibility was said out loud. Options weren’t an option. Limited options were brought upon the face and yet they remained in the dark. The fear wasn’t bothering me, having the fear running away made the screams. I didn’t know what it was but I wanted more. The more it built a story the more I believed. The story never ends and that is because I wouldn’t let it. I want it to go away but I want it to stay. An answer has been given but an error was acknowledged. I wanted to fight it but now I want to fight with it. It was no angel, not enough information to believe it was a devil. I never understand and you never understood. Let’s keep it my way. No more words just another lip it will be.

Roses Aren't Red

Happiness crashed into the floor into a million pieces, just as simple as dropping a virgule glass not expecting an emotion
The eye had front row of a lie and the heart contained the truth
The world became a waiting room
It was done. The list no longer made smiles
The heart didn’t know what to do
Nothing ever happened and a daily life overflowed with days and days
No excitement and no wisdom was brought to a life with much need
Being happy wasn’t a choice anymore, it was forgotten

Life looked the same that way
People all looked like the devil and I was one of them
Being alone and running into the night was the social network
It felt good
I hated it
But I wanted it
I wanted more sadness
I wanted more tears
I wouldn’t care
I would build the climax right till the end
I am my own devil

Do It All For You.

A boy, a little boy who lived on the second floor in his parent’s house stood near his room window during a cold winter watching a seed that slept alone outside while it watched the little boy stare back. The seed lay still on the cold grass in front of the boy’s window waiting for someone, wanting someone for deed without a list to give. The boy felt the hurt and the boy was trained to protect nothing out of his four by four rooms so, the boy did what he could only do. Stare. The wind spoke so fast and the night hurt with pain and nothing less. The seed had to watch everything else around him blossom up into perfection and yet it stood there with nothing but him. The boy grew a heart towards the seed within time and felt stuck in a little maze called reality. A reality he lived in, a reality where rules didn’t make him grow, one that didn’t make him love others or himself. The boy lived beside that window during that cold winter watching that seed stare back with fear. They both became a sabre glued into a stone waiting for the hero to save them and show them off to the world. The wait became the clock and the pain became every gun shot. A life with the door wide open and a gun on standby, they pretended to laugh and enjoy but they wished they could have felt and loved. They wished they could erase the pain without telling the world who they were, two different worlds and yet one world and so close.

Light to Night

90 was the year it all started. It was the year I first opened my eyes and it was the year I first heard the yelling. 90 started as a memo. A memo I didn’t want to take with me but was forced with no words. I took it and it hid. No one could have seen the fear or the confusion. I walked that straight line when life kept pushing me. I kept fighting back and I felt a feel. I knew I was getting stronger. The melody was dancing around my fulmar. The word memorable was being used in my circle and I understood. Life was playing with me and not gaining upon me. Thoughts never hated me and the sun always said hi.


Twenty years later…it was a role just to find myself here, right here. I don’t know anymore. I used to run to the “It” and now I’m lost. I don’t know what I want. I used to know how to put a smile on and play along but I find the closer I get to the end the harder it is to smile. My fulmar stopped dancing and flew to its freedom giving me time to face what I’ve done and do my time. I find it hard for me to let someone in. I find it so much easier to hate then to love. I thought I wanted to grow and learn. It all turned around and now I can’t give an answer. I can’t answer myself, I can’t tell myself why I should still be here, right here. An ovation is needed by the realm because I love you but not enough to cry.

Misread

I opened my eyes that morning knowing you were standing upon me with that smart white smile flashing straight into my eyes. I opened my eyes and a white wall that stood there looking straight through me covered the man I wanted to see. I woke up that morning with a bright sun watching over me but a dark dream holding me back. I lay on the mattress looking at the ceiling and thoughts kept ringing into my mind. I wanted so much in a little section called nothing but that section offered so much. So little became too much to handle. Learning the ending isn’t near and the beginning hasn’t started. I haven’t found.

I need A Moment

It was just night and light day by day
To the point where life was a dirty knee and a bad luck factor
Watching a hill grow into a mountain was something chosen
Everyone was picked and I stood there waiting to climb a team
I’ve watched lives go in depth before my eyes
I’ve had a life but I guess I’ve been chosen to watch
Watch a hill turn into a mountain
I’ve learned I hate watching
Can someone watch me?