Just Love Here

In a room where a soul stood watching upon its faith

Downing the bad but feeling the good

People becoming the blur but the one mind stands with the 20/20 vision goggle

A glass turned into glasses made ones vision a mind so clear

A river flowing into the system of pixels of a creator with no leader led to the mind

You started to look towards me while I stood examining the impossible

Eyes connected and words were seeked of the beholder who carried the power

You stood watching and I stood caring

Ones around become props of blur that danced around the smoke

Music blared into the ears controlling everything else the power didn’t have power of

Seconds within minutes the vision, the feeling brings the eyes closer to its mission

The river inside takes control of the feeling and brings action into reality’s eye

Smoke blown into the air while the two stood across each other

Feeling of the feeling when you started to dance

The demon seeks into the body and the music becomes our connection

Words aren’t being said but everything is already been signed

Every beat is a beat of a heart and the music finds a home in the souls

A night

A dark room

The storm racing destroying our minds

A race to a moment

A moment we’ll never remember

When our lips touched

When our minds burnt into flames

When we were controlled by our own minds

The mind that gave us the hope and the faith

The Boy With No Control

Opened my eyes after a dark dream took control of the veins that led to my brain

Woke up and sweat was running down my body as if the sun followed even though shade was to be seeked.

I was running in the middle of no where

In the middle of the dessert

Sand danced around my body

Heat followed as an unwanted friend

I kept running wishing the end was near

My Heart was beating to every step I took

The silence of space took control of my mind

My thoughts became the music to a strong base

The lyrics were to be spaced out but volume wasn’t an option

My heart beats and then it beats again

Every beat breaks into its own

Tears started scattering into direction

My mind got louder and louder as the sun was getting brighter and brighter

My story my thoughts my brain unfolded the truth

I broke my heart

A heart that was controlled by my head that was controlled by the veins that led to my brain

But used a human as an object

I stopped running but the feeling kept going on and on

The heart kept beating but instead it was beating in my head

Telling me things I’ve never said

I stood in the middle of the dessert with nothing around me but the sight of my mind

That was the only thing I had and the feeling was there

I stopped

I sat down under the sun

I closed my eyes

And I was back into the dark dream that took control of the veins that leaded to my brain

There was no exit

I sat there with my eyes closed and let it unfold

Because the feeling is going to go on and on

In my head  

Electric Charge

You were the kid who laughed

The fact that a heart skipped a beat

Over reacting to those feelings when one gets the feel of little pills of lies creeps into your veins straight into your blood and right through your brain

You laughed as you knew you were living the generation of no love

Walked down the street at night with the moon circled around your heart guiding it to its river

You laughed and kept laughing down the dark and the bright

Left everything on the right at home and kept everything on the left... right through the night

Your night was a surrounding of the died and you were the fresh that was left hiding but in confidence

Happiness wasn’t to be found or sought but it’s to be located and bought

Reality check was you were the monster, exorcisms

Tote tools like mechanics, mechanisms

The walk in the dark alley wasn’t searched confidence

But instead given pride to the only, watched by the bright light lit

You laughed at the ones who fell down the wishing well

Because you were the only who saw the love in disguise

Till the dark alley took your hands and lifted you and did a 180 degree turn

Threw you into the other side where people stood upon and watched

A feeling you never trusted took over your one soul

The fresh dark red blood in your system got sucked into reality’s vision  

Left with nothing but the poison given from the darkness of lit light

The dark you trusted becomes the one who laughs  

Life becomes a long alley with exit doors and your search begins

Happiness becomes a found with another soul who becomes a “matter”

Life moves so fast that you become so lazy

Running down the alley wishing a sign to an exit was a possibility

But instead you become an animal and start running with no vision goggles

You start running into the wild and let go and leave everything

Arms wide open and wind striking, hair blowing

Forgetting

Living

Survival

Sunshine

Waterfall

You’ve never wanted anything from the “matter”

Expect everything they had and everything that was left

So you find that spot

And you start laughing

You wake up and you’re back in the alley that once gave you the confidence

But a thought of a chance…. you’d go back

Controlled Within

A heart is the robot that controls the brain in one’s vision

Believing in a story you build in a world that hides in a circle where your dead self lays

You start loving something, someone in no ordinary line and without questions

The heart fights the battle, the battle you’re holding with yourself

Your heart is telling your brain the story and your brain is signalling the story to your whole body

Your body goes through a zone where now you know the feeling but the next step is your fate, your hands

A signal from your eyes and ears to the heart through the brain into our soul and our dreams, we stand

And sometimes we stare at nothing but the dead us because the next step is no next step

The feeling of love is stronger than any drug put on this earth because love isn’t anything controlled

Love is power

Love stands alone

Love isn't to be fought

We are all small little dots on this earth

We are all programmed to have this one feeling, this one thing

And in the end this one thing could break into a million little broken pieces

A puzzle no doctor, scientist, nor no drug could put back together

Love is so powerful that at times it’ll give you the power to hold

The power to fix

The power to love

The power to grow

A heart is the robot in you

And you’re just the machine controlling it

Call Me By Your Name

The sun was about to say good bye and the ocean was getting ready to go to its night

Sound of voices and dinner plates roamed in the village while people enjoyed their evening with friends and family

The sand I stood upon played around my toes while I walked down the stripe of dry sand

I walked down the ocean and stopped, stopped right in front of a resort I once owned

I stopped and glazed up into the sun while it fully disappeared into its ocean

I watched it as if I was the sun and I watched myself drown into the dark ocean

The ocean was taking over my life and I stood watching as I thought nothing could have been done

But for tears to roll down my cheeks

I turned around and watched what once a project of mine

What once a life I lived

What once a dream I had

Choices are all mind games, a game we all gamble with ourselves

A game of choices just to find out what makes us happy at most

Sometimes a little isn’t enough and a lot is just trial

A town I once believed in and a job I thrived upon day to day

I have left for a heartless move for a heart that couldn’t stop beating

That heart shocked my brain and told it to make that choice and to drop its thoughts

Just to realized and find out that my heart was playing another poker game

The heart has once again lost all its money and leaves the brain just too finally enter reality

In a world where choices aren’t being chosen any longer

I stood upon the sand and the night while starring at my once was resort

A gamble, a choice, a feeling, a desire

A feeling I once felt is now a wish, a wish wishing a feeling I felt was a feeling I’ve never felt

I wished with all my heart to leave this world behind

Rise like angels into the night

And magically disappear

Wasted Love

Run, feel, see, and breathe

Wind brushing into our faces getting in our way

Eyes contact like a number on speed dial

Study the unexpected and love the truth

Darkness has never been so bright in the light

Evil burns into cold ice wrapped around angels

Hands touched force by gravity and with a simple lesson we started falling

Nudity, smoke, no rules, stay young

We held our breath when we fell into the hole

When we reached the ground we turned down the loud noise

And we started falling, falling in love

The Bag & The Box

A mind blowing twist with an untold story following its proud studied book
Everything they knew and wanted to know was out flying with the herd of wind
When it became knowing the inside of it all it was another stage and another book
A life so darkened with a black thick marker even Mr. Devil himself didn’t dare to enter
Everyone with a pass became a lord that they didn’t want to know and everyone else became a pass by
Love was targeted by a little white ghost who told other little ghosts who fell in love with their love
Love was targeted and Love was snitched from the right side of the chest and was put in a black bag and then into a black box
Love wasn’t the pain, the pain was the pain and falling was the only thing they knew how to do
The book wasn’t written without a heart it was written for the ones who love and who can love back
Everyone with a pass became a lord and everyone else became a pass by
They watched others get the love stolen from their right side of their chest
They watched but feelings were put into a black bag hidden in a black box
Drive your fork right through my heart because any feeling is a feeling I haven’t felt
Years later, pass bys became the ghost and I realized I will never stop falling into the black hole of nothing but loveless feels because this love, this heart, and those lords can never find the bag hidden in that black box!

The Rolling Thought

When life stops and time keeps rolling its circled wheel you witness a rush of angry wind that keeps pushing you over a cliff, you become a waterfall and create this beautiful confusion. Your life turns into a mist; it becomes blurry and colorless but light is believable. A flow of a stream you start and knowing the straight sign drowns in the deep where no human eye can discover. The new and the surprise factor is a face to face fight. Trash and the simple are a world of its own and a world that has been found by one with a new ability of higher vision. A vision stuck in a bubble of dreams and the bubble cannot be popped by anyone but its original blower, the man himself drowning in the water of stream flowing into a direction he will not know yet he fears his reality stuck in the dream of endless broken mirrors. Simple enough to breath, breathing turned into the reality of his adventure and he was lost. Nothing was real, understanding wasn’t common when it came to understanding the right but flashes of the wrong was another race around the track and the gun bullet flew in the air and so did the memories in his mind. Life stopped and time kept rolling its circled wheel when he witnessed a rush of angry wind that kept pushing him over the cliff when in seconds he turned into that waterfall that created this beautiful confusion and that is why he only can live the Wrong & Write.

Desire the Need of Sound

“Mist and shadows followed by a circled moon, the shadow that kept running between the stumps of the broken growth, and dark in a bright root within the sky that was given a mind to create a path for the following position. An art piece that was a standing wall with full followers and its own path is an open box with the word empty stamped on it with no colour but instead a radio on repeat that yelled “done done done done done”.” I remained standing upon the piece that stood hanged on the wall. A glass with red wine in one hand and my black leather wallet in the other, the sun whispering it’s goodbyes in the late evening. The sound of piano slowly danced around the free space and the sound of the oceans wave trying to flow into the night. A land that can bring two eyes in desire of something no eyes could have thought and yet I stood watching, listening, and still being in love with you.

The Room (pt. 2)

A world he was in that he could have called his was created by a room that became an apartment that magically turned into a world he could handle. He was safe playing ring around the rosie with his own spirit twirling in a sealed box with no vision of the outsides that he called home. His mind was on a highway with no intersections just simple exits to normal that he never thought of taking. A simple exit to normal on the right side of his life and here he was wanting his highlighted life to stay on the highway where the man knew what were happening, just another straight road and another starless night. He didn’t care, his mind was set, his mind knew what it wanted but it was the heart that was fighting its own mind. A battle he had to watch in a magical room he knew he wanted till the heart would speak. The room grabbed his soul for the use of the creative mind and the mind was watched by the walls of pain. The mind was entertained by the room and was given fear, the fear of a dark knight. The room was the safety zone a zone for one to hide, hide in a starless night with a closed eye and nothing but creativity to have fun with. The heart started to move, it would sneak through the skin and face the man and with without words the man felt the need of love. The heart was in pain, painful pain that brought reality into the room. Pain that the room kicked out before closing the door was sneaked in by the heart and given to the young man. A closed eye turned around and opened its own and kept it wide open for truth. The world isn’t a beautiful world it’s a shape that we’re all lured to till we find the best of it all. The eyes kept opened till its mind was given to its owner and till the door unlocked the room.

The Room

The room held its hand out right towards me and picked me up from my waist and held me right in front of its dark face. I stared back with wide eyes as if I was a third grader and an evil kid just finished telling me the bogyman story, a stupid story you know not to believe but yet again every time you close your eyes for a better tomorrow your mind tries to play a little dirty game so you start hearing things right under your bed. A little game you start playing with yourself “try to sleep before you start seeing the man himself.” A wide eye towards the rooms dark face and I was unlucky because I didn’t fall asleep. I was held up high, high enough I could have seen my life reflecting its own shadow and there I was high enough to say goodbye. The room sucked me in its little brown squared door and within seconds I was on a rusty wooden floor. I looked up and a white wall stared back with laughter. There I was on the floor in a room lying on the floor and as much as I wanted to believe the story was stupid I tricked my mind to believe in it all and nothing turns into fake. I stood up and started to picture the room as an apartment and with magic only a room can form and slowly the room assembled into a home a body like mine can enjoy. I started to imagine the darkness of beauty and with my eye closed the room would listen without my words touching the air, the room would shape its mind into my thoughts. Within time I started to see what the room started to see and I believed in every story and I wasn’t afraid to sleep without racing the track a few laps. I was killed by the room and the room it was.

Heart That Beats

5:00am: The moon was still flying in the sky while night was getting eaten by light. The dark’s ghost was being swept away from the boy who lay in his bed waiting for light to save his soul.

6:00am: The sound of his alarm clock started to ring into his ears to warn the boy that it is safe to open his eyes. Light has once appeared into his life and dark has ran away like an old lover.

7:00am: looking in the mirror to brush his teeth was a sign that night wasn’t real and it was just a scary dream, a dream that no longer exists in his life. He looks again and laughs to make sure he’s okay.

7:15am: He sees him; the boy he sees’s every morning with a smile on his face. The boy who makes him laugh for no reason. With a simple hello he knew he was alright because he felt it once again, a heart that beats.

8:00am: The boy and the boy started talking over simple homemade breakfast, motherly made boiled eggs, sausage, and French coffee that his mother makes every morning since he was two.

9:00am: By the time the boys had to go to school they became best friends and without a word they knew it because they’ve felt the heart that beats.

11:00am: Two hours later after endless English classes and annoying teachers they meet each other at lunch at a small table in the library where they talked endlessly. They would start reading their favorite books that hid their favorite chapters to each other and when the bell rang they would close the books and continue with their endless classes.

2:30pm: The boy stood near his locker waiting for the boy to come pick him up and go hide in a corner to finish reading their favorite chapter.

2:40pm: Ten minutes of waiting in a land of zero the boy’s heart started to skip not once but twice and it started to get scary. The sun was still shinning on that side of the world but the feelings of dark wasn’t far and the heart of beats could have felt it.

2:45pm: Five minutes later the sun stood strong when the boy showed up with his bright smile holding that book that contained his favorite chapter. The feeling of dark was not a feeling to feel anymore. The boy had his life jacket on hand. The boat might have been rocking with a storm fighting its way to everyone’s life but the boy knew he was safe because the boy was his life jacket.

3:00pm: The mother of the boy called and wanted him home for dinner and he did what was told. They had to say their good bye for the day and hope for a good tomorrow. While the boy started to walk away the boy also started to walk his way. With every step he took his heart started to skip the beat. From red to black he knew it was time to face the ghost of dark once again within hours.

5:00pm: The boy stood in his room where he started his day. He stood right in front of the mirror where he was smiling hours ago, he stood there looking at himself and without looking outside he knew the moon was raised from a feeling of a mood and with eyes closed he saw the stars light flicked on and with a simple good bye he looked in the mirror and said good bye to the boy who made him smile that bright morning.

(The room getting its dark and its red, the boy started to see the devil.)

10:00pm: While covered in warm blankets and tucked in with an old stuffed friend, tears started to drop down his cheeks and landed right in the dark where no heart can be found.

The Sun of Afterlife

I walked into the room with my hands wide open with possibility and held nothing but great love I walked through the doors and entered a room where a man who sat waiting in a four by four room
Walking a simple step would turn into an imagination complex where you create your own world
Your world could be anything and this anything could be perfect
A great story that desires a great heart
A heart so powerful that could turn your night into light with just a kiss through the air
A room that would open up a dark chapter and make it passable with a simple hike to memory lane
A life one thought couldn’t be open has just open doors so wide one couldn’t have missed
Leafs fall and rain turns into snow and your heart becomes warm
A room so powerful it brought nothing but soft endings
Journeys through volcanoes and terrifying lava turned into a super hero movie
A movie that would always let you shine and wouldn’t be forgotten
Chapters after chapters was possibilities one could have walked through instead of an end
I have not loved before and I have not found the answer of why
Fear of letting myself enter a world of real desire frightens me
I find myself as perfect as the world I have created and the world I have created is the world I am stuck in
A world where I find the man who sat in his four by four room just waiting for the one
His story has ended with kisses my story hasn’t began
I have walked into reality with wide open possibility and am holding nothing but great love

The Famous Stars

I put a life I once knew behind me and entered a world I didn’t know what it had to offer but fame. A Saturday night that held beautiful stars upon the people who worshiped them turned into a night full of fake bright stars that laid in wealth and laughed at people who worshiped them. My desire to know the normal and the world that once used to be on my side became a war with my own nightmare. A simple dream to contain a life with a loved one became money and that money turned into nothing but flashes and more flashes. A life so glamorous had to be so disgusting. I wanted to reach the stars and bring in the bright lights and I did but the lights never were bright enough to brighten my side but only yours. I watched and I had to and I loved it so I did just that till they wanted more and what I only had was my life and so I gave that up as I thought I wanted more. They took it into their hands and played with it like a game of baseball. My life turned into the ball and I kept being thrown to anyone who was wide open and available. The team kept winning but never satisfied with the numbers. A dream I once desired offered nothing but fame and here I was, standing underneath the stars knowing I was protected because I was one of them.

Listen to the Music Play

Dear John,
I have been keeping a secret from you for the past eight months and I don’t know how I may say this in a way where you heart wouldn’t fall and break into pieces. John I love you and you know that and I would never mean to hurt you in any way and I thought everything was going to be okay but I was wrong. You are the love of my life and you still are in so many ways I can’t even write them because when I think of them I would have to run and run to where you are and I can’t. I don’t want to lie anymore and I don’t want you to live a life where you can’t accept. I have been gone for the past eight months and that you know; I am not in Singapore anymore and I am very sorry but you must live a life where you don’t need to do anymore waiting. I won’t be coming back to Chicago anytime soon. I love you! So much! I am in a town where nothing but hell is observed. This letter is being read by the head of the town and certain information isn’t allowed to be told but I am allowed to tell you that I won’t be leaving this town for a very long time. I don’t know what I have done and I don’t know how to save myself but I want you to save yourself. Travel to the most beautiful cities in the world, dance to the most amazing music, and eat the most fabulous food the world can offer. My time has gone by so fast I didn’t have time to see it. Even though you’re going to find yourself in hell and find yourself confused but please do this for me. I will meet you somewhere sometime and to my love of my life I want nothing but to see smiles come toward me when I go near the most beautiful man on earth. This is the end of a beginning and I can’t say this enough John, but I love you.
I can’t put my pen down for some reason. I want to keep writing as I feel I am closer to you as possible right now. You changed my life, you are the first man who ever told me how beautiful I was, the first man who asked for my hand in marriage, the first man who taught me how to bake a real cheese cake, and the first man who would lie in bed with me for a whole weekend. I had it all and you gave it to me and I thank you so much. I have to go John. I will see you soon.
With love,
Nachton

The Boy Who Played With the Devil

Many years together that a connection has grown over the people it watched. I have watched him grow and I have watched him try to love what was around him and what was in front of him. The years I watched him hate the small and the big but the connection between the two held him up high and I would love nothing but the in he held locked up and at times when the storm he created held us apart was brought to daylight; he would love back. Seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years would be a race around the track for the next. I watched while tears fell down his cheeks, while it hit the floor and crashed into the wooden floor. When I wasn’t afraid I laid right next to him while his body would freeze in confusion and thoughts. I wanted to understand. I wanted to know who he was, what he wanted and what happiness meant. A life so simple became so difficult and the word why flew as if it was the bird that sang to you every morning. A day filled with bright skies turned into a dark tent. A night filled with stars was nothing but another night. Dark was dark and dark meant alone and alone meant thoughts and thoughts turned into questions and those questions never had answers. At the age of seventeen he had seen the devil and they played hell and when he turned nineteen I watched him lay in bed watching time pass by as if it was a missed train. He looked back at me when I realized I was just the ghost, the ghost of the boy I tried helping and without warning another question ran through the two minds, what will it be, my heart or will it be his?

The End of A Lot

Three years later and the clock still routed in circles helping time pass by
I watched the sun rise up high looking upon its people
I watched leafs fall on to the ground as if they were being kicked out of their own homes
I watched white noise fly through the air till it turned into its own kingdom
I have watched seeds turn into lovers and became appealing to even those who don’t desire
Life is a circle and I am in the middle till the end
I will watch and sometime I will hide
But sometimes missing a moment so small could mean missing a lot
I used to be scared and I hated the feeling but fear is what helps me stand up
Even though I want the clock to stop at times I have learned it’s just for the best

Piece of Its Mind

The flashes started gaining up on the crystal as if it was a dead killer whale on shore
It shined like a new shinny penny with a special edition logo that everyone wanted
That crystal was loved by everyone that moved and breathed on earth
The crystal didn’t want to love back because love meant to accept
One thought and the thought cried
The world was out of its mind
A name was given but a background check was hidden
Just like a ghost, it wanted the world to know but be visible
Life filled with beauty and common tears
So much lip and words and all so came with a life very much alone
No matter what direction it took it always landed back in its mind
Even though it walked around like some ghost that held so much information
It, the crystal didn’t mind
The crystal didn’t care
Being sad was its playtime
Being held was making friends
Being wrong was right
One thought and the thought cried
Cried for more terror and fear
To be sad and walk away as if it was a ghost

Worth the Drum

I wasn’t there but I saw everything that a human needs to see when it came to the side we called painless feel. I started off with words like “I’ll be here all for you” the words weren’t real they were what I call, fear. I did love, I did want, but I didn’t want to be what I was and I was someone who I couldn’t change because it became who I am now. I speak with no words and lovers could have told. They didn’t care they wanted the air to fly the way they taught it to. I was brought to pretend to create an image to those who question the lives we lived. I ran back to the door every time I had the chance to walk away free handed and I would kick the walls with black paint till the pain discovers a zone where it can relax and be free till the next group that becomes art. No one understood the art and no one ever cared. I have found the key to me and the key was to be sad and to be okay. That’s how I felt it, the feel I wanted to feel the feel that might get me out to the real world and not this world. I want to find out who I am but me is standing still in one stop and I wish I could be here just for you, just for you. The only person I love and I do really love you. The discovery just made the room more in silent and I have been hurt and I am here to play doctor with myself. No more the same, time to close the wide opened door and walk away to the welcome gates that yell out my name every night.

Love. Hate. Nature!

He didn’t know what it was. She didn’t know what it was. Yes, answers were been given but an error was acknowledged. I didn’t know what it was but I knew enough that it was wrong. Control isn’t possible but controlling it was. Limited possibility was said out loud. Options weren’t an option. Limited options were brought upon the face and yet they remained in the dark. The fear wasn’t bothering me, having the fear running away made the screams. I didn’t know what it was but I wanted more. The more it built a story the more I believed. The story never ends and that is because I wouldn’t let it. I want it to go away but I want it to stay. An answer has been given but an error was acknowledged. I wanted to fight it but now I want to fight with it. It was no angel, not enough information to believe it was a devil. I never understand and you never understood. Let’s keep it my way. No more words just another lip it will be.